Tag Archives: pilgrimage

Excess Baggage 

Posted on by under CaminodeSantiago

There’s nothing like hiking every day for 2 months to make you realise how much every little thing you are carrying in your bag can weigh you down. Something on its own may feel like it won’t make a difference, but out a few of these things together and it quickly starts to add up! Over long distances these little items can have a huge impact, slowing you down significantly during the day and taking a physical toll on your body. It only took a few days into my hike to start to question the nessecisity of every item in my bag. In reality, I could get rid of all my clothes and hike the Camino as a nudist! Well, let’s just say thankfully for all the other pilgrims on the trail I never got to that extreme. 

On my fifth day of hiking I hobbled into the hostel to be greeted by a group of 3 other pilgrims, one person with an insanely large and very heavy 85L backpack (this actually was the person I had met before briefly at the train station), and two other people who had somehow ended up with the task of sorting through his backpack and getting rid of what he didn’t need. This was the motivation I needed to sit down and take a good look and what I had in my backpack and make some hard cuts. After some intense internal debates, I managed to cut out over 2kg, which included some items near and dear to me, my flat iron (no one should see me without this!) and one of my two non-guidebooks, The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coehlo. My cuts were not nearly as entertaining as the stuff that ended up being cut from the other guys 85L bag, which to name a couple items included a Pilates ball and a dictaphone. He ended up shipping ahead over 7kg of stuff, though still seemed adamant that he needed two iPhones and an iPad!

The more I walked the more I realised how not only did excess physical baggage significantly impede the process, but excess emotional baggage did as well. It is easy when you are walking all day to get caught up in your thoughts. Sometimes this can be positive; maybe having insights into an aspect of your life, or remembering important things like the fact that Mother’s Day is coming up and you need to remember to call home. At other times though, these thoughts can be negative and downright draining. For myself, and probably the majority of the population of the world, I seemed to love bringing up past memories and situations that had upset me and would end up stewing and rehashing them over and over in my head when there was nothing on the trail to distract me.

 I remember one day when I struggled to walk 16 km! There was no physical excuse why it took me all day to walk such a short distance, the path was flat on dirt pathways, and on other days I had easily covered 20+ km. The only difference was my emotional state, I had chose that day to rehash a confusing and challenging relationship in my life that I knew had far outrun its course, yet a large and loud part of me was not ready to admit defeat and move on. Also, trying to admit defeat and move on was made even harder by the fact that the other person refused to acknowledge my feelings that things had changed for the worse, instead playing the victim and making me feel guilty that I should feel the way I felt at all. I spent the majority of my walking time that day stuck in the past, replaying things I said or did, what things they said or did, and wondering what might be if I had done certain things differently. It was amazing to find that I was putting so much mental energy into the situation that it was draining my physical energy. As soon as I recognised that, I recognised that I needed to change it, I could not be wasting so much mental energy on rehashing the past when I was over halfway through my year off and still hadn’t made much headway with my intentions. With all the brain power that was going to waste, if I had used it more effectively I could probably have come up with a solution for world hunger in a matter of days. 

As I was cleaning out my bag, I came across the book “The Pilgrimage” by Paulo Coehlo, and though I ended up leaving this book at the hostel to reduce my pack weight, I had a quick skim through first. In this book the author describes their own Pilgrimage 30 years ago that they did, including descriptions of mental exercises for self improvement done while walking the Camino. I had been doing a couple of the exercises as a went along in order, and funnily enough just as I realised I had this negative thought process that needed to be changed, the next exercise was one designed to curb exactly that. Described as the “cruelty exercise,” it was the practice of once noticing yourself having a negative or detrimental thought digging your fingernail into your nail bed to cause pain, continuing to do so until the thought passed. The pain was meant to be a physical manifestation of the spiritual harm you were doing to yourself with these negative thoughts. Or as pshycologists would call it, using negative reinforcement to change an undesired behaviour.

While this exercise didn’t stop negative thoughts from coming, it did help me to distance myself from them and not get myself caught up in thoughts that were just rehashing the past. With this, I was able to see the situation as it existed currently; not seeing it through the lenses of the good times of the past, or rehashing the past wondering if I had said this or done this differently things would be different. As I began to see the relationship for what it was at the present time, I realised it was dying and there was nothing I could say or do to change that, especially when the other person was either in denial about the situation or was of the personality type that avoided conflict, and would rather ignore the situation until it eventually disappeared on its own than have a honest conversation.  

Growing up on a farm I had to learn the hard way, that sometimes no matter how much you love something the humane thing to do is to put it out of its suffering, rather than prolong the inevitable. I could finally see clearly the inevitable in this situation, and to put an end to my suffering I had to pull the trigger and completely cut this person out of my life. The day after I finally made this decision, I walked close to 30 km and felt like I could have kept going.

I Have No Idea What I Am Doing

Posted on by under CaminodeSantiago

Three days before my planned start date, I figured it was as good of time as any to crack open the guidebook I had carried with me for the past three months to see what this Camino business was all about. I was lucky, had I opened the guidebook any sooner than 3 days before starting, I probably would’ve talked myself out of going.

Now I am not much of a hiker to begin with, and can actually count the number of true hikes I have been on with one hand. I prefer a bit faster method of transportation, either horseback or cycling, and though I had a fairly good idea of how many kilometres I could cycle a day, I had no idea how what was a doable daily walking distance with a large backpack. The first leg of my Camino from Lisbon to Santiago in total would be just over 600km, which the guidebook had divided into 23 days of walking, around 25 km each day. The first few days of walking were close to or over 30 km in length. Taking into consideration that I knew I could cycle 30 km in a couple hours, it seemed reasonable that I could hike 30 km in 8+ hours, and I even began to plan a little bit how I could get to Santiago in 21 days instead of the guidebook recommended 23.

The guidebook also recommended to carry about 10% of your body weight, with an aboslute maximum of 10 kg. I had dumped a fair bit of stuff with my sister when we met up in Spain, and when I had my final bag weigh at the airport to fly to Lisbon it was 13 kg. Really, how much could 3 kg (closer to 5 with food and water) matter I thought, dismissing my knowledge that in horse racing every pound can slow down a horse significantly, and that’s over a distance that is 1/30th of what I would be walking. As I was sitting contemplating the weight of my pack, a flash of brilliance came to my mind. The guidebook said 10% of your body weight… Soooo, if I just gained some weight in the coming days it could be within the recommendation value. Though I quickly dismissed this flash of “brilliance” as idiotic when some quick mental math revealed I would need to double my body weight for my pack to be close to 10% (not to mention the fact that the additional body weight would only add to the problem). Regardless, I went to McDonalds that night and bought a McFlurry.

The first day I began my Camino was with a 28 km leg, with literally no places between to stop and sleep if I so desired, unless I was willing to spend my first night stealth camping in the industrial o and somewhat sketchy outskirts of Lisbon. With my previously mentioned estimation of my hiking ability and speed, I didn’t see the need to start off from the Lisbon Cathedral until around 10AM. Walking the Camino was part of my “holiday,” and I have a thing about not setting an alarm or getting up before I want to when I am on holiday. Just before stopping for lunch I caught a glimpse of another pilgrim, and the Camino app I had downloaded had kilometre tracking which said I had walked about 14km so I figured I was making really good time! I would soon realise that the app had a major bug, that resulted in its tracking overestimating the traveled distance by almost double! By the time 6PM rolled around I was sore and exhausted, and google maps indicated I still had 5km to go! Those last 5 km might as well have been 100 km for as long as it felt it took me to finish them. It was getting dark as I neared the hostel, two cars stopped to ask if I needed a ride, but I was determined to finish the day. I rolled into the hostel at 8:30PM, just as the other pilgrim I glimpsed earlier in the day was checking in. We both had severely underestimated how long that day was going to take.. She was a bit better off though, as her backpack was only 9 kg!

The next day was another 28 km day, and seeing as I clearly did not learn any lessons on my first day, I started out only marginally earlier at 9:30AM (to my defence I did beat the other pilgrim out)! The day would prove even more challenging than the previous day as a) I had a lot less energy and my muscles were a lot more sore than my first day, and b)it decided to pour rain the entire day. I quickly found out that my “waterproof” hiking boots were not waterproof at all, and should have been labelled as water absorbent for how wet my feet were in a matter of minutes. This slowed down my walking considerably. It seemed that the day was taking a toll on other pilgrims as well, in the afternoon at a remote train station, as I searched for a bathroom I crossed paths with an Australian pilgrim who was calling it quits for the day and taking a train to the next town. I was determined to walk the whole thing and could not be swayed into hopping on the train, though if it had been a few hours later in the day I probably would have! Funnily I would run into this pilgrim a few days later and end up hiking almost the entire way to Santiago (at times unwillingly) with them.

 At 6PM I arrived into a small town 6km before the next hostel in the guidebook. Soaked, exhausted and starving, I stopped at the first restaurant. Knowing that another 6 km would take at least two hours, before I decided to order I asked in my broken Spanish (close enough to Portuguese right?) if there was a hostel in the town as the guidebook did not have one listed. They pointed across the street and from what I could understand, told me the third building down had rooms. With that knowledge I settled in for a meal and a hot tea. After an hour I had built up enough energy to walk to the other side of the road and find the hostel, but to my dismay it didn’t exist!! In hindsight I realised that they may have been giving me directions to the other restaurant not a hostel, but why they would tell me where their competitors were I don’t quite understand. Getting a bit desperate as at that point there was no way I would be walking another 6 km, I began to ask people on the street if there was somewhere to stay in the town. I would finally have a bit of luck on my side that day, as one person I asked ended up having keys to the community hall. Though it didn’t have a bed or shower it was shelter, and I got to test out my immensely heavy -7 sleeping bag and thermarest ground mat that were taking up most of the space and weight in my bag! I had quickly learned two important things in my first two days on the Camino, 1) there was no way I would be hiking 30 km every day, and 2) only stop in towns that have at least two hostels listed in the guidebook! I quickly changed my attitude about getting to Santiago in 21 days, and in the end it would actually end up taking me 27 days!

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Age is Just a Number

Posted on by under Adventure Travel, camino de santiago, CaminodeSantiago, Hiking, spain, travel

When I was planning on taking this year off to travel the world, a few things indicated to me that I needed to do it sooner or later if I was to accomplish anything in my life. Albert Einstein had achieved his greatest discoveries at the age of 24, I remembered reading an article stating that if people that were more successful in their lives had achieved this success early on, that neurologically ones brain decreased it’s overall capacity as one left their twenties, and then there was the astrological “return of Saturn” that happens around when someone turns 28 which is supposed to be when they can make great changes in their lives.  Now I can’t attest that these were reliable sources that I obtained this information from, regardless I felt since I had yet to accomplish anything at 27, I was most definitely headed for a life of mediocrity if I didn’t make a big change soon.

Just before I left for Spain, I decided to do alittle more digging into the person that inspired this stop: Paulo Coehlo. I knew that he had hiked the Camino and that while walking it he had a spiritual awakening, which would lead him to his career in writing writing the worldwide bestselling book The Alchemist just two years after walking the Camino. What I didn’t know was that he had hiked the Camino at age 39! It wasn’t until he was 41 that he even published a book, then becoming a best selling author. Turns out my idea that anyone over 30 that hadn’t found their dream was destined for mediocrity was very, very incorrect. It was something I needed to believe at the time to make me push forward and actually follow through with this trip. In reality age is just a number, anyone at any time in their life can make a big change, chasing their dreams, searching for passion and meaning in their life. Recently I saw a video on Facebook outlining the lives of some well known celebrities like Oprah and Morgan Freeman, and how they failed numerous times before achieving success in their fields later in life.

Now, as I say that age is just a number and anyone at any time in their life can decide to go off in search of their passion and dreams, there will always be those who argue the opposite. This happens a lot of times when I describe my trip to people, they say “Oh I wish I was young and I could do something like that, but I can’t because of this, this, this,  and this…” or “do it now, as you won’t be able to later.” In the words of Henry Ford, “If you think you can or you can’t, either way you are correct.” Going off in search of passion and dreams is not easy for anyone at any age, it just may require a different set of sacrifices for a 27 vs 40 year old, and it won’t necessarily involve a year off like mine. I do think with age is does become harder mentally to seek this change, as by then the brain is comfortable in more routines and structures. I’ve heard people use the excuse that they can’t change now as they’ve spent the last 15 or so years working the same job, it would be a waste of that time they have invested. What’s more of a waste, is wasting any more time on it if it is not something you love to do. Then comes the excuse of kids… I’m of the opinion that a kid will grow up a more successful and functioning adult being raised by parents who are happy and fulfilled, rather than if they are sent to private schools, expensive sports training and classes while the parents sacrifice their happiness and wellbeing to pay for these things. I was lucky to be raised by parents that loved what they did for work. As kids we never got the latest and greatest of anything; younger me probably saw this as a huge travesty, but as an adult I’m glad my parents raised us this way. For every excuse someone gives me that they think “stops” them from being able to pursue their passion, I’m certain I can find someone with the same limitation who made it work. I remember reading something a long time ago that stuck with me, saying that if you were given the opportunity to switch lives with anyone in the world, no matter how rich, successful, or happy you may think them to be, if you actually knew about all the challenges people faced in their life, you would never choose to switch lives, and would choose to keep your own life with its difficulties and challenges. The moral of the story, everyone has to face their own challenges, and you can either play victim thinking how you can’t accomplish anything as everyone else somehow has it easier than your situation, or you can take control and realise that you have the power to face your challenges and achieve anything. But one has to have courage to do so, it is easier for people to play the victum and give up on their dreams before even starting, as it means they will never face the risk of failure and heartbreak. Deciding to go on a quest to change ones life is a scary business, what is even scarier is the potential of putting all the effort and sacrifice into that quest and having nothing change. One has to be willing to take that risk, or spend their lives talking about what could have been…

As I hiked the Camino, it further installed this knowledge that anyone at any age at any time can seek to change their lives. I was mildly surprised to find that the majority of the walkers were middle aged or older (and frankly, they were able to well out-walk me by miles!). Wikipedia describes a pilgrimage such as the Camino as “a journey or search of moral or spiritual significance,” and whether it was their prime intention or not, those that had sacrificed a month of their time and home comforts to hike hundreds of miles on the Camino were on a pilgrimage to change some aspect of their lives. On my way I met a few people who were hiking the Camino for a second or third time. When I asked why, some told me that walking the the Camino before had significantly changed their lives, and while others were less sure how it impacted them, they found themselves drawn back to hike it yet again.

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